For many years, probably from age 16 through age 28, I was a victim of depression! Yes, I say and will continue to use the word victim! I had mood swings that you wouldn’t believe, one minute flying high, the next minute screaming like a banshee or curled up into a ball crying at the unfairness of life. I spent many counselling episodes - even so far as to be possibly diagnosed as bi-polar. Typically my response was, “screw that, I’m not sick in the head”!

In MY experience, my own personal life history, depression was a scapegoat for taking responsibility of my actions and decisions! All too often, there are too many people today will use depression as an escape from reality, a ploy to have people take pity on them, an opportunity for others to take care of them - because they refuse to take responsibility for themselves!

And honestly? It is getting old.. grow up!

Stop being a whiney victim - and using depression as an excuse for every thing that happens!

How can I be so harsh you ask? Simply put.. I was there.. I LIVED it.

• Between the age of 14 and 24, I attempted suicide 3 times.
• Beginning at age 14 and continuing until my hysterectomy at age 28, I had mood swings, from crying for no reason, to happy as a lark the next minute, mood swings that were dark and light, several days a week.
• Growing up, the most often used word to describe me was moody.
• At age 24, I left everything and everyone 1,000 miles behind, travelled to a new job, new life, with absolutely nothing but a car and clothing - thinking I could escape from the problems I was leaving behind.
• I was very melodramatic over the slightest affront to me.
• At the age of 28, I had a grapefruit-sized tumor burst, drove myself to the hospital and by all accounts did ‘die’. I remember nothing after leaving a note on the table for my roommate on where I was going, until I woke up 3 days after the surgery.
• One month later, I moved to a new apartment that my parents helped me get, however, within the next couple of months, I lost my job, my car (broke down, parked in some hotel parking lot, too old to fix), found out I didn’t qualify for food stamps because I only had 1 child (18 months old) and was a white female (the caseworkers words, NOT mine), had no food, no electric, was in the process of being evicted, found out I had Stage-3 cervical cancer and needed a hysterectomy - and NO one to help me!

I often wonder, if women who suffer from depression would have a hysterectomy to get rid of their wacky hormones, if the depression would stop. Why you ask? During the years that I carried around the baggage of depression, my periods were irregular, mood swings coming and going and I was often a bitch or basket-case. When I was diagnosed in January 1990, with pre-cancer polyups and several tumors, I had to have a total hysterectomy. Once my homrones leveled out, rarely, if ever, was I dealt the hand of depression. Sure, my mood swings were there - but so were the hot flashes and night sweats - due to the hysterectomy! Since 1991 I have never had another episode of depression, not once. (not counting the normal frustrations, upsets that happen in daily life, such as a death, job loss, etc…)

Don’t believe for one minute that I have no empathy for those who are diagnosed with depression and mental illness. Truly - I do, and can be empathetic - For awhile….! However, using your illness as an escape from the hands that life has dealt you, whining constantly about this or that, and not accepting your decisions and responsibilities will send me running for the hills. Honestly? I abhore victims and victim mentality.

Simply put - get over it, deal with it, and move on!

While there has been mega-research done on depression and different mental illnesses, and I am definitely no doctor, therapist or counselor, I truly believe that in society today we have come to rely too much on medications, counseling and the like. When we learn to accept the choices that we have made in life, when we stop blaming others - society, our ex, the weather, our dogs - and start living life as we have chosen; and stop feeding our bodies with unhealthy medications and foods - you may be suprised! You may find that many of the so-termed mental illnesses will start to decrease.

All too often depression is used as an excuse for a crime committed by a female. She commits a crime, then falls victim to the very well-worn excuse of ‘I was depressed’. Unfortunately - this excuse has been overused, and I am sure that many others believe it is time to stop. How much longer can we blame our actions on depression? Or, mental illness? When will we step up to the plate and take full responsibility? I honestly don’t know. But, until others are willing to say enough is enough it may never happen.

My honest viewpoint & opinion? It’s okay to be depressed.. but stop using it as an excuse for your life.